LessonsLearned
TheearlyflightbackfromNewOrleanstoWashingtonNationalwastooshortforamovie,andKellyhadalreadyeatenbreakfast.Hesettledonaglassofjuiceathiswindowseatandwasthankfulthattheflightwasonlyaboutathirdfullas,aftereverycombatactionofhislife,hewentovereverydetail.ItwasahabitthathadbegunintheSEALs.Followingeverytrainingexercisetherehadbeenaneventcalledvariousthingsbyhisvariouscommanders.‘PerformanceCritique‘seemedmostappropriateatthemoment.
Hisfirstmistakehadbeentheproductofsomethingdesiredandsomethingforgotten.InwantingtoseeLamarckdieinthedarkness,he‘dstoodtooclose,simultaneouslyforgettingthatheadwoundsoftenbleedexplosively.He‘djumpedoutofthewayofthespoutingbloodlikeachildavoidingawaspinhisbackyard,buthadstillnotescapeditentirely.Thegoodnewswasthathe‘dmadeonlythatonemistake;andhisselectionofdarkclothinghadmitigatedthedangerthere.Lamarck‘swoundshadbeenimmediatelyanddefinitivelyfatal.Thepimphadfallentothegroundaslimpasaragdoll.ThetwoscrewsthatKellyhaddrilledinthetopofhispistolheldasmallclothbaghe‘dsewnhimself,andthebaghadcaughtthetwoejectedcartridgecases,leavingthepolicewho‘dinvestigatethescenewithoutthatvaluablebitofevidence.Hisstalkhadbeeneffectivelycarriedout,justonemoreanonymousfaceinalargeandanonymousbar.
Hishastilyselectedsitefortheeliminationhadalsoworkedwellenough.Herememberedwalkingdownthealleyandblendingbackintothesidewalktraffic,walkingthedistancetohiscaranddrivingbacktothemotel.There,he‘dchangedclothes,bundlingtheblood-splatteredslacks,shirt,and,justtobesure,theunderwearaswell,intoaplasticcleanerbag,whichhe‘dwalkedacrossthestreetanddepositedinasupermarketDumpster.Iftheclothingwasdiscovered,itmightwellbetakenassomethingsoiledbyasloppymeatcutter.Hehadn‘tmetwithLamarckintheopen.Theonlylightedplacetowhichthey‘dspokenwasthebar‘smen‘sroom,andtherefortune-andplanning-hadsmiledonhim.Thesidewalkthey‘dwalkedonwastoodarkandtooanonymous.PerhapsacasualobserverwhomighthaveknownLamarckcouldgiveaninvestigatoraroughideaofKelly‘ssize,butlittleelse,andthatwasareasonablegambletohavetaken,Kellyjudged,lookingdownatthewoodedhillsofnorthernAlabama.Ithadbeenanapparentrobbery,thepimp‘sonethousand,fourhundredseventydollarsofflashmoneytuckedawayinhisbag.Cashwascash,afterall,andnottohavetakenitwouldhaveshownthepolicethattherehadbeenarealmotiveintheeliminationasidefromsomethingeasilyunderstandableandagreeablyrandom.Thephysicalsideoftheevent-hecouldnotthinkofitasacrime-was,hethought,ascleanashecouldhavedoneit.
Psychological?Kellyaskedhimself.MorethananythingelseKellyhadtestedhisnerve,theeliminationofPierreLamarckhavingbeenakindoffieldexperiment,andinthathe‘dsurprisedhimself.IthadbeensomeyearssinceKellyhadenteredcombat,andhe‘dhalfwayexpectedacaseoftheshakesaftertheevent.Suchthingshadhappenedtohimmorethanoncebefore,butthoughhisstrideawayfromLamarck‘sbodyhadbeenslightlyuneasy,he‘dhandledtheescapewiththesortoftenseaplombthathadmarkedmanyofhisoperationsinVietnam.Somuchhadcomebacktohim.Hecouldcatalogthefamiliarsensationsthathadreturnedasthoughhe‘dbeenwatchingatrainingfilmofhisownproduction:theincreasedsensoryawareness,asthoughhisskinhadbeensandblasted,exposingeverynerve;hearing,sight,smellallamplified.Iwassofuckingaliveatthatmoment,hethought.Itwasvaguelysadthatsuchathinghadhappenedduetotheendingofahumanlife,butLamarckhadlongsinceforfeitedhisrighttolife.Inanyjustuniverse,aperson-Kellysimplycouldnotthinkofhimasaman-whoexploitedhelplessgirlssimplydidnotdeservetheprivilegeofbreathingthesameairusedbyotherhumanbeings.Perhapshe‘dtakenthewrongturn,beenunlovedbyhismotherorbeatenbyhisfather.Perhapshe‘dbeensociallydeprived,raisedinpoverty,orexposedtoinadequateschooling.Butthoseweremattersforpsychiatristsorsocialworkers.Lamarckhadactednormallyenoughtofunctionasapersoninhiscommunity,andtheonlyquestionthatmatteredtoKellywaswhetherornothehadlivedhislifeinaccordancewithhisownfreewill.Thathadclearlybeenthecase,andthosewhotookimproperactions,hehadlongsincedecided,oughttohaveconsideredthepossibleconsequencesofthoseactions.Everygirltheyexploitedmighthavehadafatherormotherorsisterorbrotherorlovertobeoutragedathervictimization.Inknowingthatandintakingtherisk,Lamarckhadknowinglygambledhislifetosomegreaterorlesserdegree.Andgamblingmeansthatsometimesyoulose,Kellytoldhimself.Ifhehadn‘tweighedthehazardsaccuratelyenough,thatwasnotKelly‘sproblem,wasit?
No,hetoldtheground,thirty-seventhousandfeetbelow.
AndwhatdidKellyfeelaboutit?Heponderedthatquestionforawhile,leaningbackandclosinghiseyesasthoughnapping.Aquietvoice,perhapsconscience,toldhimthatheoughttofeelsomething,andhesearchedforagenuineemotion.Afterseveralminutesofconsideration,hecouldfindnone.Therewasnoloss,nogrief,noremorse.Lamarckhadmeantnothingtohimandprobablywouldbenolosstoanyoneelse.Perhapshisgirls-Kellyhadcountedfiveoftheminthebar-wouldbewithoutapimp,butthenmaybeoneofthemwouldseizetheopportunitytocorrectherlife.Unlikely,perhaps,butpossible.ItwasrealismthattoldKellyhecouldn‘tfixalltheproblemsoftheworld;itwasidealismthattoldhimhisinabilitytodosodidnotprecludehimfromaddressingindividualimperfections.Butallthattookhimawayfromtheinitialquestion:WhatdidhefeelabouttheeliminationofPierreLamarck?Theonlyanswerhecouldfindwas,Nothing.Theprofessionalelationofhavingdonesomethingdifficultwasdifferentfromsatisfaction,fromthenatureofthetask.InendingthelifeofPierreLamarckhehadremovedsomethingharmfulfromthesurfaceoftheplanet.Ithadenrichedhimnotatall-takingthemoneyhadbeenatactic,acamouflagemeasure,certainlynotanobjective.IthadnotavengedPam‘slife.Ithadnotchangedverymuch.Ithadbeenlikesteppingonanoffensiveinsect-youdiditandmovedon.Hewouldnottrytotellhimselfdifferent,butneitherwouldhisconsciencetroublehim,andthatwassufficienttothemoment.Hislittleexperimenthadbeenasuccess.Afterallthementalandphysicalpreparation,hehadprovenhimselfworthyofthetaskbeforehim.Kelly‘smindfocusedbehindclosedeyesonthemissionbeforehim.HavingkilledmanymenbetterthanPierreLamarck,hecouldnowthinkwithconfidenceaboutkillingmenworsethantheNewOrleanspimp.
Thistimetheyvisitedhim,Greersawwithsatisfaction.Onthewhole,ClA‘shospitalitywasbetter.JamesGreerhadarrangedparkingintheVIPVisitors‘area-theequivalentatthePentagonwasalwayshaphazardanddifficulttouse-andasecureconferenceroom.CasPodulskithoughtfullyselectedaseatatthefarend,closetotheair-conditioningvent,wherehissmokingwouldn‘tbotheranyone.
‘Dutch,youwererightaboutthiskid,‘Greersaid,handingouttypedcopiesofthehandwrittennoteswhichhadarrivedtwodaysearlier.
‘SomebodyoughttohaveputaguntohisheadandwalkedhimintoOCS.Hewouldhavebeenthekindofjuniorofficerweusedtobe.‘
Podulskichuckledathisendofthetable.‘Nowonderhegotout,‘hesaidwithlightheartedbitterness.
‘I‘dbecarefulputtingaguntohishead,‘Greerobservedwithachuckleofhisown.‘Ispentawholenightlastweekgoingthroughhispackage.Thisguy‘sawildoneinthefield.‘
‘Wild?‘Maxwellaskedwithahintofdisapprovalinhisvoice.‘Spirited,youmean,James?‘
Perhapsacompromise,Greerthought:‘Aself-starter.Hehadthreecommandersandtheybackedhimoneveryplayhemadeexceptone.‘
‘PLASTICFLOWER?Thepolitical-actionmajorhekilled?‘
‘Correct.Hislieutenantwasfuriousaboutthat,butifit‘strueaboutwhathehadtowatch,theonlythingyoucanfaultwashisjudgment,rushinginthewayhedid.‘
‘Ireadthroughthat,James.IdoubtIcouldhaveheldback,‘Cassaid,lookingupfromthenotes.Onceafighterpilot,alwaysafighterpilot.‘Lookatthis,evenhisgrammarisgood!‘Despitehisaccent,Podulskihadbeenassiduousinlearninghisadoptedlanguage.
‘Jesuithighschool,‘Greerpointedout.‘I‘vegoneoverourin-houseassessmentofKINGPIN.Kelly‘sanalysistracksoneverymajorpointexceptwherehecallsafewspades.‘
‘WhodidtheCIAassessment?‘Maxwellasked.
‘RobertRitter.He‘saEuropeanspecialisttheybroughtin.Goodman,alittleterse,knowshowtoworkthefield,though.‘
‘Operationsguy?‘Maxwellasked.
‘Right.‘Greernodded.‘DidsomeveryniceworkworkingStationBudapest.‘
‘Andwhy,‘Podulskiasked,‘didtheybringinaguyfromthatsideofthehousetolookovertheKINGPINoperation?‘
‘Ithinkyouknowtheanswer,Cas,‘Maxwellpointedout.
‘IfBOXWOODGREENgoes,weneedanOperationsguyfromthishouse.Wehavetohaveit.Idon‘thavethejuicetodoeverything.Areweagreedonthat?‘Greerlookedaroundthetable,seeingthereluctantnods.Podulskilookedbackdownathisdocumentsbeforesayingwhattheyallthought.
‘Canwetrusthim?‘
‘He‘snottheonewhoburnedKINGPIN.Cas,wehaveJimAngletonlookingatthat.ItwashisideatobringRitteronboard.I‘mnewhere,people.RitterknowsthebureaucracyherebetterthanIdo.He‘sanoperator;I‘mjustananalyst-type.Andhisheart‘sintherightplace.Hedamnednearlosthisjobprotectingaguy-hehadanagentworkinginsideGRU,anditwastimetogethimout.Thedecision-weeniesupstairsdidn‘tlikethetiming,withthearmstalksgoingon,andtheytoldhimno.Ritterbroughttheguyoutanyway.ItturnedouthismanhadsomethingStateneeded,andthatsavedRitter‘scareer.‘Ithadn‘tdonemuchforthemartini-mixerupstairs,Greerdidn‘tadd,butthatwasapersonCIAwasdoingratherwellwithout.
‘Swashbuckler?‘Maxwellasked.
‘Hewasloyaltohisagent.Sometimespeoplehereforgetaboutthat,‘Greersaid.
AdmiralPodulskilookedupthetable.‘Soundslikeourkindofguy.‘
‘Briefhimin,‘Maxwellordered.‘ButyoutellhimthatifIeverfindoutsomecivilianinthebuildingfuckedupourchancetogetthesemenout,IwillpersonallydrivedowntoPaxRiver,personallycheckoutanA-4,andpersonallynapalmhishouse.‘
‘Youshouldletmedothat,Dutch,‘Casaddedwithasmile.‘I‘vealwayshadabetterhandfordroppingthings.Besides,IhavesixhundredhoursintheScooter.‘
Greerwonderedhowmuchofthatwashumor.
‘WhataboutKelly?‘Maxwellasked.
‘HisCIAidentityis&"Clark&"now.Ifwewanthimin,wecanutilizehimbetterasacivilian.He‘dnevergetoverbeingachief,butaciviliandoesn‘thavetoworryaboutrank.‘
‘Makeitso,‘Maxwellsaid.Itwasconvenient,hethought,tohaveanavalofficersecondedtoCIA,wearingcivilianclothesbutstillsubjecttomilitarydiscipline.
‘Ayeaye,sir.Ifwegettotraining,wherewillitbedone?‘
‘QuanticoMarineBase,‘Maxwellreplied.‘GeneralYoungisapalfromtheolddays.Aviator.Heunderstands.‘
‘MartyandIwentthroughtest-pilotschooltogether,‘Podulskiexplained.‘FromwhatKellysays,wedon‘tneedthatmanytroops.IalwaysfiguredKINGPINwasovermanned.Youknow,ifwebringthisoff,wehavetogetKellyhisMedal.‘
‘Onethingatatime,Cas.‘Maxwellsetthataside,lookingbacktoGreerashestood.‘YouwillletusknowifAngletonfindsoutanything?‘
‘Dependonit,‘Greerpromised.‘Ifthere‘sabadguyinside,we‘llgethisass.I‘vefishedwiththeguy.Hecanpullabrooktroutoutofthinair.‘AftertheylefthesetanafternoonmeetingwithRobertRitter.ItmeantputtingKellyoff,butRitterwasmoreimportantnow,andwhiletherewasarushonthemission,itwasn‘tallthatgreatarush.
Airportswereusefulplaces,withtheirbustlinganonymityandtelephones.Kellyplacedhiscall,ashewaitedforhisbaggagetoappear-hehoped-intheproperplace.
‘Greer,‘thevoicesaid.
‘Clark,‘Kellyreplied,smilingathimself.ItseemedsoJamesBondtohaveacovername.‘I‘mattheairport,sir.Doyoustillwantmeinthisafternoon?‘
‘No.I‘mtiedup.‘Greerflippedthroughhisdaybook.‘Tuesdaythree-thirty.Youcandrivein.Givemeyourcartypeandlicensenumber.‘
Kellydidthat,surprisedthathe‘dbeenbumped.‘Yougetmynotes,sir?‘
‘Yes,andyoudidafinejob,MrClark.We‘llbegoingoverthemTuesday.Weareverypleasedwithyourwork.‘
‘Thankyou,sir,‘Kellysaidintothephone.
‘SeeyouTuesday.‘Thelineclickedoff.
‘Andthanksforthat,too,‘Kellysaidafterhehungup.Twentyminuteslaterhehadhisbagsandwaswalkingofftohiscar.AboutanhourafterthathewasinhisBaltimoreapartment.Itwaslunchtime,andhefixedacoupleofsandwiches,chasingbothdownwithCoca-Cola.Hehadn‘tshavedtoday,andhisheavybeardmadeashadowonhisface,hesawinthemirror.He‘dleaveit.Kellyheadedintothebedroomforalengthynap.
Theciviliancontractorsdidn‘treallyunderstandwhattheywereupto,buttheywerebeingpaid.Thatwasalltheyreallyrequired,sincetheyhadfamiliestofeedandhousepaymentstomake.Thebuildingstheyhadjusterectedwerewelltotherightofspartan:bareconcreteblock,nothinginthewayofutilities,builttooddproportions,notlikeAmericanconstructionatallexceptforthebuildingmaterials.Itwasasthoughtheirsizeandshapehadbeentakenfromsomeforeignconstructionmanual.Allthedimensionsweremetric,oneworkernoted,thoughtheactualplanswerenotedinoddnumbersofinchesandfeet,asAmericanbuildingplanshadtobe.Thejobitselfhadbeensimpleenough,thesitealreadyclearedwhenthey‘dfirstarrived.Anumberoftheconstructionworkerswereformerservicemen,mostex-Army,butafewMarinesaswell,andtheywereatturnspleasedanduncomfortabletobeatthissprawlingMarinebaseinthewoodedhillsofnorthernVirginia.Onthedriveintotheconstructionsitetheycouldseethemorningformationsofofficercandidatesjoggingalongtheroads.Allthosebrightyoungkidswithshavedheads,oneformercorporalofthe1stMarineshadthoughtthisverymorning.Howmanywouldgettheircommissions?Howmanywoulddeploythere?Howmanywouldcomehomeearly,shippedinsteelboxes?Itwasnothinghecouldforeseeorcontrol,ofcourse.He‘dservedhistimeinhellandreturnedunscratched,whichwasstillremarkabletotheformergruntwho‘dheardalltoooftenthesupersoniccrackofriflebullets.Tohavesurvivedatallwasamazingenough.
Theroofswerefinished.Soonitwouldbetimetoleavethesiteforgood,afteramerethreeweeksofwell-paidwork.Seven-dayweeks.Plentyofovertimeoneveryworkingdayhe‘dbeenhere.Somebodyhadwantedthisplacebuiltinahurry.Someveryoddthingsaboutit,too.Theparkinglot,forone.Ahundred-slotblacktoppedlot.Someonewasevenpaintingthelines.Forbuildingswithnoutilities?Butstrangestofallwasthecurrentjobthathe‘ddrawnbecausethesiteforemanlikedhim.Playgroundequipment.Alargeswingset.Ahugejunglegym.Asandbox,completewithhalfadumptruck‘sloadofsand.Allthethingsthathistwo-year-oldsonwouldsomedaycavortonwhenhewasoldenoughforkindergartenintheFairfaxCountySchools.Butitwasstructuralwork,anditrequiredassembly,andtheformerMarineandtwoothersfumbledthroughtheplanslikefathersinabackyard,figuringwhichboltswentwhere.Theirswasnottoreasonwhy,notasunionconstructionworkersonagovernmentcontract.Besides,hethought,therewasnounderstandingtheGreenMachine.TheCorpsoperatedaccordingtoaplanthatnomanreallyfiguredout,andiftheywantedtopayhimovertimeforthis,thenthatwasanothermonthlyhousepaymentearnedforeverythreedayshecamehere.Jobslikethismightbecrazy,buthesurelikedthemoney.Abouttheonlythinghedidn‘tlikewasthelengthofthecommute.Maybethey‘dhavetodosomethingequallycrazyatFortBelvoir,hehoped,finishingthelastitemonthejunglegym.Hecoulddrivefromhishousetothatplaceintwentyminutesorso.ButtheArmywasalittlemorerationalthantheCorps.Ithadtobe.
‘Sowhat‘snew?‘PeterHendersonasked.TheywerediningjustoffTheHill,twoacquaintancesfromNewEngland,oneaHarvardgraduate,theotherfromBrown,oneajunioraidetoasenator,theotherajuniormemberoftheWhiteHousestaff.
‘Itneverchanges,Peter,‘WallyHickssaidresignedly.‘Thepeacetalksaregoingnowhere.Wekeepkillingtheirpeople.Theykeepkillingours.Idon‘tthinkthere‘severgoingtobepeaceinourtime,youknow?‘
‘Ithasto,Wally,‘Hendersonsaid,reachingforhissecondbeer.
‘Ifitdoesn‘t-‘Hicksstartedtosaygloomily.
BothhadbeenseniorsattheAndoverAcademyinOctober1962,closefriendsandroommateswhohadsharedclassnotesandgirlfriends.TheirrealpoliticalmajorityhadcomeoneTuesdaynight,however,whenthey‘dwatchedtheircountry‘spresidentgiveatensenationaladdressontheblack-and-whitetelevisioninthedormitorylounge.ThereweremissilesinCuba,they‘dlearned,somethingthathadbeenhintedatinthepapersforseveraldays,butthesewerechildrenoftheTVgeneration,andcontemporaryrealitycameinhorizontallinesonaglasstube.Forbothofthemithadbeenastunningifsomewhatbelatedentreeintotherealworldforwhichtheirexpensiveboardingschooloughttohavepreparedthemmorespeedily.ButtheirswasthefatandlazytimeforAmericanyouth,allthemoresothattheirwealthyfamilieshadfurtherinsulatedthemfromrealitywiththeprivilegethatmoneycouldbuywithoutimpartingthewisdomrequiredforitsproperuse.
Thesuddenandshockingthoughthadarrivedinbothmindsatthesameinstant:itcouldallbeover.Nervouschatterintheroomtoldthemmore.TheyweresurroundedbyTargets.Bostontothesoutheast,WestoverAirForceBasetothesouthwest,twootherSACbases,PeaseandLoring,withinahundred-mileradius.PortsmouthNavalBase,whichhousednuclearsubmarines.Ifthemissilesflew,theywouldnotsurvive;eithertheblastorthefalloutwouldgetthem.Andneitherofthemhadevengottenlaidyet.Otherboysinthedormhadmadetheirclaims-someofthem,perhaps,mightevenhavebeentrue-butPeterandWallydidn‘tlietoeachother,andneitherhadscored,despiterepeatedandearnestefforts.Howwasitpossiblethattheworlddidn‘ttaketheirpersonalneedsintoaccount?Weren‘ttheytheelite?Didn‘ttheirlivesmatter?
Itwasasleeplessnight,thatTuesdayinOctober,HendersonandHickssittingup,whisperingtheirconversation,tryingtocometotermswithaworldthathadtransformeditselffromcomforttodangerwithouttheproperwarning.Clearly,theyhadtofindawaytochangethings.Aftergraduation,thougheachwentaseparateway,BrownandHarvardwereseparatedbyonlyabriefdrive,andboththeirfriendshipandtheirmissioninlifecontinuedandgrew.Bothmajoredinpoliticalsciencebecausethatwasthepropermajorforenteringintotheprocesswhichreallymatteredintheworld.Bothgotmaster‘sdegrees,andmostimportantofall,bothwerenoticedbypeoplewhomattered-theirparentshelpedthere,andinfindingaformofgovernmentservicethatdidnotexposethemtouniformedservitude.Thetimeoftheirvulnerabilitytothedraftwasearlyenoughthataquiettelephonecalltotherightbureaucratwassufficient.
Andso,now,bothyoungmenhadachievedtheirownentry-levelpositionsinsensitiveposts,bothasaidestoimportantmen.Theirheadyexpectationsoflandingpolicymakingroleswhilestillshortofthirtyhadrunhardintotheblankwallofreality,butinfacttheywereclosertoitthantheyfullyappreciated,Inscreeninginformationfortheirbossesanddecidingwhatappearedonthemaster‘sdeskinwhatorder,theyhadarealeffectonthedecisionprocess;andtheyalsohadaccesstodatathatwaswide,diverse,andsensitive.Asaresultinmanywaysbothknewmorethantheirbossesdid.Andthat,HicksandHendersonthought,wasfitting,becausetheyoftenunderstoodtheimportantthingsbetterthantheirbossesdid.Itwasallsoclear.Warwasabadthingandhadtobeavoidedentirely,orwhenthatwasn‘tpossible,endedasrapidlyasonecouldbringitabout;becausewarendedlives,andthatwasaverybadthing,andwithwaroutoftheway,peoplecouldlearntosolvetheirdisagreementspeacefully.ItwassoobviousbothstoodinwonderthatsomanypeoplefailedtograspthesimpleclarityoftheTruththatbothmenhaddiscoveredinhighschool.
Therewasonlyonedifferencebetweenthetwo,really.AsaWhiteHousestaffer,Hicksworkedinsidethesystem.Butbesharedeverythingwithhisclassmate,whichwasokaybecausebothhadSpecialAccesssecurityclearances-andbesides,heneededthefeedbackofatrainedmindhebothunderstoodandtrusted.
Hicksdidn‘tknowthatHendersonhadtakenonestepbeyondhim.Ifhecouldn‘tchangegovernmentpolicyfromtheinside,HendersonhaddecidedduringtheDaysofRagefollowingtheCambodiaincursion,hehadtogethelpfromtheoutside-someoutsideagencythatcouldassisthiminblockinggovernmentactionsthatendangeredtheworld.Therewereothersaroundtheworldwhosharedhisaversiontowar,peoplewhosawthatyoucouldn‘tforcepeopletoacceptaformofgovernmenttheyreallydidn‘twant.ThefirstcontacthadcomeatHarvard,afriendinthepeacemovement.Nowhecommunicatedwithsomeoneelse.Heoughttohavesharedthisfactwithhisfriend,Hendersontoldhimself,butthetimingjustwasn‘tright.Wallymightnotunderstandyet.尒説书网
‘-ithasto,anditwill,‘Hendersonsaid,wavingtothewaitressforanotherround.‘Thewarwillend.Wewillgetout.Vietnamwillhavethegovernmentitwants.Wewillhavelostawar,andthatwillbeagoodthingforourcountry.We‘lllearnfromthat.We‘lllearnthelimitsofourpower.We‘lllearntoliveandletlive,andthenwecangivepeaceachance.‘
Kellyaroseafterfive.Theeventsofthepreviousdayhadlefthimmorefatiguedthanhehadappreciated,andbesides,travelinghadalwaystiredhimout.Buthewasnottirednow.Atotalofelevenhours‘sleepinthelasttwenty-fourhadlefthimfullyrestedandalert.Lookinginthemirror,hesawtheheavybeardfromalmosttwodays‘worthofgrowth.Good.Thenheselectedhisclothing.Dark,baggy,andold.He‘dtakenthewholebundledowntothelaundryroomandwashedeverythingwithhotwaterandextrableachtoabusethefabricandmutethecolors,makingalreadyshabbyclothinglookallthemoreunsightly.Oldwhitegymsocksandsneakerscompletedthepicture,thoughbothweremoreserviceablethantheirappearancesuggested.Theshirtwastoolargeforhim,andlong,whichsuitedhispurposes.Awigcompletedthepicturehewanted,madeofcoarseblackAsianhair,nonetoolong.Hehelditunderahot-waterfaucetandsoakedit,thenbrusheditoutinadeliberatelysloppyway.He‘dhavetofindawaytomakeitsmell,too,Kellythought.
Natureagainprovidedsomeadditionalcover.Eveningstormswererollingin,bringingwiththemleaf-swirlingwindandrainthatcoveredhimonthewaytohisVolkswagen.Tenminuteslaterheparkednearaneighborhoodliquorstore,wherehepurchasedabottleofcheapyellowwineandapaperbagtosemiconcealit.Hetookoffthetwistcapandpouredabouthalfofitintoagutter.Thenitwastimetogo.
Italllookeddifferentnow,Kellythought.Itwasnolongeranareahecouldpassthrough,seeingthedangersornot.Nowitwasaplaceofsoughtdanger.Hedrovepastthespotwherehe‘dledBillyandhisRoadrunner,turningtoseeifthetiremarkswerestillthere-theyweren‘t.Heshookhishead.Thatwasinthepast,andthefutureoccupiedhisthoughts.
InVietnamtherealwaysseemedtobethetreeline,aspotwhereyoupassedfromtheopennessofafieldorfarmedareaintothejungle,andinyourmindthatwastheplacewheresafetyendedanddangerbeganbecauseCharlielivedinthewoods.Itwasjustathingofthemind,aboundaryimaginaryratherthanreal,butinlookingaroundthisareahesawthesamething.Onlythistimehewasn‘twalkinginwithfiveortencomradesinstripedjunglefatigues.Hewasdrivingthroughthebarrierinarust-speckledcar.Heaccelerated,andjustlikethat,Kellywasinthejungle,andagainatwar.
Hefoundaparkingplaceamongautosasdecrepitashisown,andquicklygotout,asheoncewouldhaverunawayfromahelicopterLZtheenemymightseeandapproach,andheadedintoanalleydottedwithtrashandseveraldiscardedappliances.Hissenseswerealertnow.Kellywasalreadysweating,andthatwasgood.Hewantedtosweatandsmell.Hetookamouthfulofthecheapwineandslosheditaroundhismouthbeforelettingitdribbleoutontohisface,neck,andclothing.Bendingdownbriefly,hegotahandfulofdirt,whichherubbedontohishandsandforearms,andalittleontohisface.Anafterthoughtaddedsometothehairofhiswig,andbythetimeKellyhadpassedthroughthecity-block-lengthofthealley,hewasjustonemorewino,astreetbumlikethosewhodottedtheareaevenmorethanthedrugpushers.Kellyadjustedhisgait,slowingdownandbecomingdeliberatelysloppyinhismovementswhilehiseyessearchedforagoodperch.Itwasn‘tallthatdifficult.Severalofthehousesintheareawerevacant,anditwasjustamatteroffundingonewithagoodview.Thatrequiredhalfanhour.Hesettledforacornerhousewithupstairsbaywindows.Kellyentereditfromthebackdoor.Henearlyjumpedoutofhisskinwhenhesawtworatsinthewreckageofwhatafewyearsbeforehadbeenakitchen.Fuckin‘rats!Itwasfoolishtofearthem,butheloathedtheirsmallblackeyesandleproushairandnakedtails.
‘Shit!‘hewhisperedtohimself.Whyhadn‘thethoughtaboutthat?Everybodygotacreepingchillfromsomething:spiders,snakes,ortallbuildings.ForKelly,itwasrats.Hewalkedtowardsthedoorway,carefultokeephisdistance.Theratsmerelylookedathim,edgingawaybutlessafraidofhimthanhewasofthem.‘Fuck!‘theyheardhimwhisper,leavingthemtotheirmeal.
Whatfollowedwasanger.Kellymadehiswayuptheunbanisteredstairsandfoundthecornerbedroomwiththebaywindows,furiouswithhimselfforallowingsuchadumbandcowardlydistraction.Didn‘thehaveaperfectlygoodweaponfordealingwithrats?Whatweretheygoingtodo,assembleintoabattalionforarat-waveattack?Thatthoughtfinallycausedanembarrassedsmileinthedarknessoftheroom.Kellycrouchedatthewindows,evaluatinghisfieldofviewandhisownvisibility.Thewindowsweredirtyandcracked.Someglasspanelsweremissingentirely,buteachwindowhadacomfortablesillonwhichhecouldsit,andthehouse‘slocationatthecorneroftwostreetsgavehimalongviewalongeachofthefourmainpointsofthecompass,sincethispartofthecitystreetswaslaidoutalongpreciselysurveyednorth-south,east-westlines.Therewasn‘tenoughilluminationonthestreetsforthosebelowhimtoseeintothehouse.Withhisdark,shabbyclothing,inthisunfitandderelicthouse,Kellywasinvisible.Hetookoutasmallpairofbinocularsandbeganhisreconnaissance.
Hisfirsttaskwastolearntheenvironment.Therainshowerspassed,leavingmoistureintheairthatmadeforlittleglobesoflightpunctuatedbytheflyinginsectsattractedtotheireventualdoombystreetlights.Theairwasstillwarm,perhapsmid-eighties,fallingslowly,andKellywasperspiringalittle.Hisfirstanalyticalthoughtwasthatheshouldhavebroughtwatertodrink.Well,hecouldcorrectthatinthefuture,andhedidn‘treallyneedadrinkforsomehours.Hehadthoughttobringchewinggum,andthatmadethingseasier.Thesoundsofthestreetswerecurious.Inthejunglehe‘dheardthetitteringofinsects,thecallsofbirds,andtheflappingofbats.Hereitwasautomotivesoundsnearordistant,theoccasionalsquealofbrakes,conversationsloudormuted,barkingdogs,andrattlingtrashcans,allofwhichheanalyzedwhilewatchingthroughhisbinocularsandconsideringhisactionsfortheevening.
Fridaynight,thestartoftheweekend,andpeopleweremakingtheirpurchases.Itseemedthiswasabusynightforthegentrybusiness.Heidentifiedoneprobabledealerablockandahalfaway.Earlytwenties.Twentyminutesofobservationgavehimagoodphysicalpictureofboththedealerandhisassistant-‘lieutenant.‘Bothmovedwiththeeasethatcamebothwithexperienceandsecurityintheirplace,andKellywonderediftheyhadfoughteithertotakethisplaceortodefendit.Perhapsboth.Theyhadathrivingtrade,perhapsregularcustomers,hethought,watchingbothmenapproachanimportedcar,joshingwiththedriverandpassengerbeforetheexchangewasmade,shakinghandsandwavingafterwards.Thetwowereofroughlythesameheightandbuild,andheassignedthemthenamesArchieandJughead.
Jesus,whataninnocentIwas,Kellytoldhimself,lookingdownanotherstreet.Herememberedthatoneassholethey‘dcaughtsmokinggrassin3rdSOG-rightbeforegoingoutonajob.IthadbeenKelly‘steam,andKelly‘sman,andthoughhewasanFNKrightfromSEALschool,thatwasnoexcuseatall.Confrontingtheman,he‘dexplainedreasonablybutpositivelythatgoingintothefieldinanythinglessthanahundred-percent-alertstatecouldmeandeathfortheentireteam.‘Hey,man,it‘scool,IknowwhatI‘mdoing‘hadnotbeenaparticularlyintelligentresponse,andthirtysecondslateranotherteammemberhadfounditnecessarytopullKellyofftheinstantlyex-memberoftheteam,whowasgonethenextday,nevertoreturn.
AndthathadbeentheonlyinstanceofdruguseintheentireunitasfarasKellyknew.Sure,off-dutythey‘dhadtheirbeerbashes,andwhenKellyandtwoothershadflowntoTaiwanforR&R,theircollectivevacationhadnotbeenterriblyunlikeamobileearthquakeofdrunkenexcesses.Kellytrulybelievedthatwasdifferent,blindtotheexplicitdoublestandard.Buttheydidn‘tdrinkbeerbeforeheadingintotheboonieseither.Itwasamatterofcommonsense.Ithadalsobeenoneofunitmorale.Kellyknewofnoreallyeliteunitthathaddevelopedadrugproblem.Theproblem-averyseriousoneindeed,he‘dbeard-wasmainlyintheREMFsandthedrafteeunitscomposedofyoungmenwhosepresenceinVietnamwasevenlesswillingthanwashisown,andwhoseofficershadn‘tbeenabletoovercometheproblemeitherbecauseoftheirownfailingsortheirnotdissimilarfeelings.
Whateverthecause,thefactthatKellyhadhardlyconsideredtheproblemofdrugusewasbothlogicalandabsurd.Hesetallofthataside.Howeverlatehehadlearnedaboutit,itwasherebeforehiseyes.
Downanotherstreetwasasolodealerwhodidn‘twant,need,orhavealieutenant.Heworeastripedshirtandhadhisownclientele.KellythoughtofhimasCharlieBrown.Overthenextfivehours,heidentifiedandclassifiedthreeotheroperationswithinhisfieldofview.Thentheselectionprocessbegan.ArchieandJugheadseemedtobedoingthemostbusiness,buttheywereinlineofsighttotwoothers.CharlieBrownseemedtohavehisblockentirelytohimself,buttherewasabusstoponlyafewyardsaway.DagwoodwasrightacrossthestreetfromtheWizard.Bothhadlieutenants,andthattookcareofthat.BigBobwasevenlargerthanKelly,andhislieutenantwaslargerstill.Thatwasachallenge.Kellywasn‘treallylookingforchallenges-yet.
Ineedtogetagoodmapoftheareaandmemorizeit.Divideitintodiscreteareas,Kellythought.Ineedtoplotbuslines,policestations.Learnpoliceshifttimes.Patrolpatterns.Ihavetolearnthisarea.aten-blockradiusoughttobeenough.Ican‘teverparkthecarinthesameplacetwice,nooneparkingplaceevenvisiblefromanother.
Youcanhuntaspecificareaonlyonce.Thatmeansyouhavetobecarefulwhomyouselect.Nomovementonthestreetexceptindarkness.Getabackupweaponnotagunaknife,agoodone.Acouplelengthsofropeorwire.Gloves,rubberoneslikewomenusetowashdishes.Anotherthingtowear,likeabushjacket,somethingwithpockets-no,somethingwithpocketsontheinside.Awaterbottle.Somethingtoeat,candybarsforenergy.Morechewinggummaybebubblegum?Kellythought,allowinghimselfsomelevity.Hecheckedhiswatch:three-twenty.
Thingswereslowingdownoutthere.Wizardandhisnumber-twowalkedawayfromtheirpieceofsidewalk,disappearingaroundacorner.Dagwoodsoondidthesame,gettingrightintohiscarwhilehislieutenantdrove.Charliewasgonethenexttimehelooked.ThatleftArchieandJugheadtohissouth,andBigBobtothewest,bothstillmakingsporadicsales,manyofthemstilltoupscaleclients.Kellycontinuedtowatchforanotherhour,untilArchandJugwerethelasttocallitquitsforthenightandtheydisappearedratherfast,Kellythought,notsurehowthey‘ddoneit.Somethingelsetocheck.Hewasstiffwhenherose,andmadeanothernoteonthat.Heshouldn‘tsitstillsomuch.Hisdark-accustomedeyeswatchedthestairsashedescended,asquietlyashecould,fortherewasactivityinthehousenextdoor.Fortunately,theratsweregone,too.Kellylookedoutthebackdoor,andfindingthealleyempty,walkedawayfromthehouse,keepinghispacetothatofadrunk.Tenminuteslaterhiscarwasinsight.Fiftyyardsaway,Kellyrealizedthathe‘dunthinkinglyparkedthecarclosetoastreet-light.Thatwasamistakenottoberepeated,hereproachedhimself,approachingslowlyanddrunkenlyuntilhewaswithinacarlength.Then,firstcheckingupanddownthenow-vacantstreet,hegotinquickly,startedtheengine,andpulledaway.Hedidn‘tflipontheheadlightsuntilhewastwoblocksaway,turningleftandreenteringthewidevacantcorridor,leavingthenot-so-imaginaryjungleandheadingnorthtowardshisapartment.
Intherenewedcomfortandsafetyofhiscarhewentovereverythinghe‘dseeninthepastninehours.Thedealerswereallsmokers,ignitingtheircigaretteswithwhatseemedtobeZippolighterswhosebrightflameswouldinjuretheirnightvision.Thelongerthenightgot,thelessbusinesstherewasandthesloppiertheyseemedtobecome.Theywerehuman.Theygottired.Somestayedoutlongerthanothers.Everythinghe‘dseenwasusefulandimportant.Intheiroperatingcharacteristics,andespeciallyintheirdifferences,weretheirvulnerabilities.
Ithadbeenafinenight,Kellythought,passingthecity‘sbaseballstadiumandturningleftontoLochRavenBoulevard,relaxingfinally.Heevenconsideredasipofthewine,butthiswasn‘tthetimetoindulgeinanybadhabits.Heremovedhiswig,wipingawaythesweatithadcaused.Jesus,hewasthirsty.
Headdressedthatneedtenminuteslater,havingparkedhiscarintheproperplaceandmadehiswayquietlyintotheapartment.Helookedlonginglyattheshower,needingthecleanfeelingafterbeingsurroundedbydustandsqualorandrats.Thatfinalthoughtmadehimshudder.Fuckingrats,hethought,fillingalargeglasswithice,thenaddingtapwater.Hefolloweditwithseveralmore,usinghisfreehandtostripoffhisclothing.Theairconditioningfeltwonderful,andhestoodinfrontofthewallunit,lettingthechilledairwashoverhisbody.Allthistime,andhedidn‘tneedtourinate.Hadtotakewaterwithhimfromnowon.Kellytookapackageoflunchmeatfromtherefrigeratorandmadetwothicksandwiches,chaseddownbyanotherpintoficewater.
Needashowerbad,hetoldhimself.Buthecouldn‘tallowhimselfone.He‘dhavetogetusedtothefeelingofasticky,plasticlikecoatingalloverhisbody.He‘dhavetolikeit,cultivateit,forinthatwasapartofhispersonalsafety.Hisgrimeandodorwerepartofhisdisguise.Hislooksandsmellhadtomakepeoplelookawayfromhim,toavoidcomingtooclose.Hecouldn‘tbeapersonnow.Hehadtobeastreetcreature,shunned.Invisible.Thebeardwasevendarkernow,hesawinthemirrorbeforeheadingtothebedroom,andhislastdecisionofthedaywastosleeponthefloor.Hecouldn‘tdirtyupnewsheets.</div> 有的人死了，但没有完全死……
无尽的昏迷过后，时宇猛地从床上起身。想要看最新章节内容，请下载爱阅小说app，无广告免费阅读最新章节内容。网站已经不更新最新章节内容，已经爱阅小说APP更新最新章节内容。
他大口的呼吸起新鲜的空气，胸口一颤一颤。
迷茫、不解，各种情绪涌上心头。
这是哪？
随后，时宇下意识观察四周，然后更茫然了。
一个单人宿舍？
就算他成功得到救援，现在也应该在病房才对。
还有自己的身体……怎么会一点伤也没有。
带着疑惑，时宇的视线快速从房间扫过，最终目光停留在了床头的一面镜子上。
镜子照出他现在的模样，大约十七八岁的年龄，外貌很帅。
可问题是，这不是他！下载爱阅小说app，阅读最新章节内容无广告免费
之前的自己，是一位二十多岁气宇不凡的帅气青年，工作有段时间了。
而现在，这相貌怎么看都只是高中生的年纪……
这个变化，让时宇发愣很久。
千万别告诉他，手术很成功……
身体、面貌都变了，这根本不是手术不手术的问题了，而是仙术。
他竟完全变成了另外一个人！
难道……是自己穿越了？
除了床头那摆放位置明显风水不好的镜子，时宇还在旁边发现了三本书。
时宇拿起一看，书名瞬间让他沉默。
《新手饲养员必备育兽手册》
《宠兽产后的护理》
《异种族兽耳娘评鉴指南》
时宇：？？？
前两本书的名字还算正常，最后一本你是怎么回事？
“咳。”
时宇目光一肃，伸出手来，不过很快手臂一僵。
就在他想翻开第三本书，看看这究竟是个什么东西时，他的大脑猛地一阵刺痛，大量的记忆如潮水般涌现。
冰原市。
宠兽饲养基地。
实习宠兽饲养员。网站即将关闭，下载爱阅app为您提供大神璇玑的璇玑之心刃·冷血悍将
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